Getting even older

Someone asked me if they were allowed to come into the tutorial room. I shrugged and said, 鈥渂eats me鈥. They looked surprised, and said 鈥淥h, so you鈥檙e not鈥︹ I smiled at them and shook my head. I鈥檝e never been mistaken for a tutor before, it was a pretty weird experience. It made me realise I鈥檓 not as young as I used to be.

In my head I鈥檓 still a uni student. I mean, I AM still a uni student, but only just. In my head, I鈥檓 still as much a uni student as I was last year and the year before. Except鈥 I鈥檝e graduated one of my degrees, I鈥檓 an alumni. I don鈥檛 have long before I鈥檓 not a uni student at all.

When did that happen? I didn鈥檛 give time permission to make me older, and for there to be a reasonable expectation that I graduate! It feels like time slipped by. What have I done with myself? This year: I鈥檝e done a placement, survived a pandemic, run some projects. I guess that鈥檚 something

I think it鈥檚 good just to take some time to update my perception of myself, so I don鈥檛 look in the mirror one day when I鈥檓 50 and really lose my mind. I am getting older, and if I want to have done something I just need to go out and start doing it.

Tagged in What messes with your head