The bottom of the barrel

oil barrel buried in desert

Oil barrel

I once joked that when I ran out of ideas I would just write about how I ran out of ideas鈥

Well, here we are.

I mean I think I will continue to have ideas. All kinds of ideas I hope. Right now though I鈥檓 drawing a blank. I just don鈥檛 seem to know what I鈥檓 even thinking. It鈥檚 like turning the key in a car鈥檚 ignition and having the engine think about starting聽but not quite succeed.

Maybe this is the end of the line. There鈥檚 only so many things I can write about. What if I鈥檝e reached the end of my creativity? I鈥檝e covered a lot of stuff about myself聽and I don鈥檛 lead a life where I鈥檓 doing different stuff everyday like skydiving or something.

My 鈥渁dventures鈥 are pretty run of the mill. I try to lead a good life, in good company, being a better person than I was yesterday. Aren鈥檛 we all doing that? How much is there to write about that? Is this what a mid-life crisis is like? Do we eventually just reach a point where we think 鈥渨hat more can I do鈥? That鈥檚 a really scary thought.

I like to think slices of my life and the thoughts I have are interesting because they鈥檙e fairly common experiences. I always like it when someone else has written out something that I鈥檝e thought but never articulated. I just can鈥檛 dissect any of my thoughts into a definable idea right now.

I鈥檓 tired. Just so tired. I just want a holiday鈥 and also a career. I want someone to tell me that they鈥檙e going to hire me as a lawyer after three weeks of holidaying. And not the kind of holidaying I鈥檓 doing now where I鈥檓 just doing more work in the place of uni work -聽a holiday where I actually get a break from obligations. That鈥檇 be nice.

Maybe that鈥檚 an idea - I could put aside some time to rest聽and let the ideas come a little bit more naturally.

Tagged in What messes with your head